Contracts

Every relationship is a contract.

We enter into an agreement with each other, understanding the rules and terms of our relationship. You provide thus and I will provide that…and it works, right up until one of us creates a breach in contract and we have a choice- break it or re-negotiate the terms, establishing a new contract.

We don’t often read the fine print, and most breaches come from the simple fact that our contract is so full of fine print due to the baggage we carry.

Intimate or partnership relationships I consider leases or rent agreements.

We are so excited, we sign the lease and put down our deposit with glee, happy to move in and take possession of our new home…the place we belong. Everything is shiny and new and fresh, and we spread out our belongings and settle in for the long haul.

One day, a note comes under the door. Rent increase. So we consider the pros and cons, but will most likely simply pay because it really isn’t that much after all. We love our home, our things are here, and it’s a small price to pay in order to remain comfortable.

After a little while, we notice cracks in the walls and ceilings- things we hadn’t seen before. We notice cobwebs and stains….but, we accept this. It is a comfortable home after all, and we realize we were not the first to live here. We love our home, our things are here, and it’s a small price to pay to not be homeless.

Our neighbors become noisy. They disturb our sleep and annoy us. We get cranky, and the price we pay for our comfortable home seems a little too high, with a rent increase, cracks in the walls, cobwebs and dust and noisy neighbors…but, we accept this. It is our home after all, and we wouldn’t want to have to start looking for a new one, and it’s a small price to pay to not be homeless.

Suddenly, the landlord decides we may not have a dog. But we love our dog, and the contract didn’t say we couldn’t have one! We are hurt, frustrated and angry. Why should we have to give up our dog when we pay our rent, put up with noisy neighbors, tolerate cracks in the walls and cobwebs and they are breaking the deal, not us! But, we love our home, even though we are no longer comfortable. We don’t want to look for another one, though we probably are starting to surf the “For Rent” column in the paper every week. And the price of not being homeless is starting to feel very steep.

A complaint is lodged against us by our noisy neighbors. We feel this is unjust! Who do they think they are? We put up with their crap all of the time. We have ridiculously high rent for a shit-hole of a house with cobwebs and rust and dust and cracks. We can’t have our dog, the place stinks and why are we even here anymore? We are now looking for a new home with renewed vigor because we can’t handle the thought of being homeless, but putting up with the asshole neighbors without our dog in this dung hole place with its’ cracks and dirt and filthy backed up sewage pipes is more than we can afford.

Then we see the rent is far too high elsewhere….and we wonder…is it worth it? Really, it could be worse……………….

So we either settle on the contract and suck it up, sometimes even cleaning and patching and fixing and being kind to the neighbor and trying our very best…..

Or we move.