Simple Things

Some of the simplest things in life leave the greatest impact.
Some of the things that we think should last forever, end.
Some of the most overlooked blessings are the ones that mean the most.

Today my Aunt asked me where I come up with my ideas. I smiled, and tried in my feeble way to explain how it is a force that comes from outside of me.
It is a word that someone says that sticks.
It is the way a light hits something.
It is an idea that climbs into my head and eats away at every thought until I can barely function.

Often once I actually begin, it evolves into something much bigger then I started with. Sometimes it becomes a complete entity on it's own.
But it always begins the same way, with a vision that blinds me in that exact moment, flashing images in front of my eyes.

When I was young, I actually thought they were movies or TV shows. As I got older, I tried to ignore them or dismiss them.
Sometime in my twenties, I finally began allowing them to become.

The first set I did was on suicide. Not so much the act of, but the feelings and desire surrounding the choice of.

This collection of images quickly turned me off of exposing my work. Whether they were any good or not wasn't the issue. The issue was that they were too dark and in poor taste. So I went under ground again.

What followed was a long silence. I dabbled here and there with general photography, portraits, animals, perty flowers and such. I steered away from exposing any of my own thoughts or art.

My next stab at it came years later.
With a bit of play time with friends, and my kids adding their creative flair, my vision ended in a video and a collection of images.

It's origin was from my current obsession with cemeteries, and the idea of a struggle between the living and the past.
This resulted in an outraged struggle with my ex-husband over the dark use of my children. Him having no idea that they actually loved the dress up and play time, and realized that it wasn't real. Besides the fact that I created a tame version of the video for them to see, and to this day they have never seen the "adult version".... all besides the point I suppose.
These events, once again drove me under ground, where I hid out from the terrible things I create.

Finally, last year, I was moved again to create. The idea was based on relationships ending. It was about closure, and the emotional vs. physical endings we go through.
I followed this one through to it's completion, adapting my vision as I went along. The end result was not exactly how I had seen it, but I let it be.
I will probably never be able to watch Effortless Indifference without a tiny internal cringe...yet at the same time, I am happy that I followed through with it. I won't change it now, for it reminds me that I can improve.

Now we are current. My most recent projects have been both challenging and fulfilling.
I completed "I Can't Make You Love Me", which was a flash of inspiration from someone I love dearly as well as a bizarre walk that caught my mind off guard.

I have collected all the images I need to finish what I consider my greatest awakening.
"In My Mind" is one hundred percent bigger than me. It started as an adventure with a very loved friend of mine. Peering down a silo, I was struck with the image of the yin yang. Climbing around the building, snapping pictures as I went, I caught sight of a figure peering through a window.
Then in the field, it struck me.

To the first image, and back to the beginning...while you are busy not looking, inspiration creeps in.
Sometimes the simplest things are the most amazing. That time you might have been too busy, but chose to not be instead...that could mean the very world to someone.
So to answer the question of where my ideas come from, everywhere. Nowhere. Maybe you.
Thank you.