How It Ends

"Some things you let go in order to live" -Florence

If I turned, and looked over my shoulder, I could tell you a thousand tales. Stories of failure and triumph, joy and pain, villains and beasts and fairies and victors. I would sing to you folk songs of broken hearts and mended bridges. 

They would be mirrors of what was. They would be true and they would be false. For every story is only a piece of illusion seen only through my eyes and spoken in a whisper from the feeling they created.

They aren't my stories any more. They aren't my burdens or my reason. They are only parts of a cobweb that angels shed when they shine through the cracks in the floor boards. 

So what does that leave? 

Nothing.

 

A shadow in the starry night of someone in the shape of a human sobbing over loss for one last time. 

A safe journey only begun.

The dance on a dusty trail with no one watching but a nosy chipmunk.

It all means nothing, stitched together with good intentions and long lost love forged by familiar fear.

How do I begin?

With one simple sentence.

"I am here."

And I am. I am here, right here, right now, and nowhere else.

If you asked me, "why did you stay so long" my answer would be; "because I love him."

If you asked me, "why are you leaving?" My answer would be; "because I love him."

If you understand that...then you understand everything.

You understand the story, the illusion, the reason and the purpose. You understand the past and the present, and you can see me, clearly. You see the masks, the pain, the choices, the uses and abuses. As my hand touches the door knob, I could look you in the eye and you would see the light of this universal love, the present as it unfolds.

You would hear the voice that rings in my head:

"I don't know why I don't just stand outside and scream, I am teaching myself how to be free.

I know it seems like forever.

I know it seems like an age.

But one day this will be over, I swear it's not so far away." -Florence

I am inviting my truth and grasping onto forever. I am letting all these precious things go, and watching them fall one by one. 

I'm not brave or afraid.

I'm not strong or weak.

I am just me, as I am, 

And I am here.