Beautiful Indecision

Our world is so full to overflowing with decisions and hurry and rush and must do's. We zip from here to there and back again, pausing from time to time only to realize that we don't have time at all. We must do this, have to do that, can't forget this and must remember that. Some days are so full that we can barely sit down, and even if we do, it's with only the thought of what we must get up to do, or should be doing....

Breathe....

Today I spent the better part of the day at the Atlantic Ocean, on a beach. I took a lot of pictures, but in between I did nothing. I stared at my feet as the salty water and sand washed over them. I laughed at the bustle of bodies moving this way and that on a crowded beach.
I watched a para sailor glide around. The seagulls hung in the breeze and zoomed over head. The tide came up, soaking the rock I was sitting on. The smell of salt water and sea weed permeated the air like febreeze caught in fabric. Some around me slept. Others played. Some strolled. One little girl lost her flip flop in the tide, and her Grandfather followed her around trying to find it.
It was beautiful. The sun soaking into my skin like a long awaited nectar. The breeze running it's fingers through my hair and whispering sweet secrets up and down my back.

Sometimes being indecisive is like sitting by the ocean.
Nothing to do and nowhere to go, yet fulfilling and full of life. My cup runneth over.
Bits and pieces of others lives tickled the edges of my awareness, but as they came, they went. No expectations, no plugging in. No need to fix or help beyond the pleasure of seeing a floating flip flop and dashing down the beach to a beaming Grandfather and a happy girl. "I told you someone would find it"...echoing as I walked away.

I don't have to always go. I don't have to always decide. Life will do that for me sometimes. In the meantime, while I'm dangling over the edge of what next...I can live. I can sit and build an inukshuk on a beach, kiss it's little rock head and whisper "I am here". Tomorrow will still come, decisions will still be made. I can wander along picking seashells for my daughter, smiling because I know she will love them. I can wrap my arms around myself and know that I am not alone in this great big world. Always there is an answer, and always I am perfectly fine. Every journey needs a time of settling, a time to let go and let be.

So this is where you can find me:
Sitting beneath the open wings of a flying gull;
Sun warming my ever browning skin. Knees pulled up and toes spread in the sand.
Cool wind and spray from the ocean tickling my arms.
I am looking out, thankful for each breath, and each moment left to be right here.
Being.
Beautiful Indecision.