A Ship Named Persistence

Being raised in a society of instant gratification takes it's toll, whether you accept it or not. Somewhere along the line, I suddenly woke up realizing that even if I don't accept it, these beliefs are planted firmly in the guise of everyday life. 

I get frustrated waiting for an answer. I get irritated waiting in a line. I get confused by a delay in banking. I get testy over slow internet connections. All my electronics have "reset" buttons, and if they don't work the minute I want them to, I'm hitting that button! Travelling during rush hour is tedious. If you're in my way on the sidewalk, I'm going around you. 

Yet I would say I'm a patient person. In today's world, I probably am. However, reality check, instant gratification is so well ingrained that even the most patient of qualities come with limitations.

Over this last summer, I have been trying to sort out some personal dilemmas. At times, I thought I had the answers. Then something would come up and I would find myself back at square one, wondering why the answers were so elusive. There were moments of complete frustration. 

"Why can't I answer these questions? Why can't I make up my mind? What is the problem?" Figuratively stamping my foot, beating myself up for not having the right answers when I want them.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned in the past few months seem so simple, and yet it's been a hard-learned lesson for me. 

It's okay to be persistently patient. 

It's okay to not have all the answers right this minute. 

There is nothing wrong with not knowing, and nothing wrong with enjoying life as well. 

I am on a ship named persistence. I am sailing, sometimes tipped right over. I am being carried over the water, at times way off course, by a wind I cannot see but know is there. My ship is captained by others at times, but even in my greatest fear, I am always fine. I know that I will live to sail another day, and in that knowledge, I sit and take in the sun and sights. 

If anything, the biggest lesson I have learned it to be patient with myself. I don't need instant gratification as a belief any longer. I can let that go, and next time I'm waiting in line, I will close my eyes and see the water. Maybe there is a reason I am standing here waiting instead of out the door on my way home. Maybe I can set my phone aside, or turn off my computer instead of reaching for the reset button. There is too much life to live to lose even one second in impatience.